Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
