I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
