what day is it and did you see me today?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
is it fun? or sober?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
