We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
God I need to hump something, right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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