I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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