I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Soap is not a condiment
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
