You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
