I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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