So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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