She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
