Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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