Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
