It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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