How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
