tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
