sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
