Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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