I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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