How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize