Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
