i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
