Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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