you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
