stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
