FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
please don't ironically join a cult
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