think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
