youre lurking in front of me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
