Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I cockslap morals
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
