Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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