I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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