Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Life is so much better after having sex.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
