did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
