its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
