i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
