Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
