If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
