Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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