So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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