IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
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