Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
