So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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