In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
