Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
