from now on my penis is your penis
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
as a side note pls kill me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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