apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
