yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
