I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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