That's intense
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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