I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
