you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you never un-have a 4some
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
