Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
