Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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