you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
