sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
