he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.