i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..