Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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(204): I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right? http://tfl.nu/emft

Replies (9) Good night (1221) Bad night (734)
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(631): View more from New York

She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.

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(631): She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best. http://tfl.nu/b2i1

Replies (22) Good night (1055) Bad night (4473)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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(303): I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer. http://tfl.nu/pliu

Replies (18) Good night (1528) Bad night (4364)
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(208): View more from Idaho

His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

HE'S 26!!!

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(208): His mom took away his car and made him quit his job. (1-208): HE'S 26!!! http://tfl.nu/2fqd

Replies (66) Good night (832) Bad night (6517)
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(937): View more from Ohio

my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

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(937): my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. http://tfl.nu/n2zh

Replies (38) Good night (6396) Bad night (1613)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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(414): they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed???? http://tfl.nu/zsp8

Replies (39) Good night (6429) Bad night (1674)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.

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(860): I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday. http://tfl.nu/lawx

Replies (14) Good night (3141) Bad night (1081)
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(712): View more from Iowa

buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.

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(712): buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks. http://tfl.nu/xy6a

Replies (5) Good night (3406) Bad night (932)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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(519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq

Replies (5) Good night (1930) Bad night (1070)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night

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(250): I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night http://tfl.nu/2rtf

Replies (5) Good night (1368) Bad night (571)
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(303): View more from Colorado

exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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(303): exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake". http://tfl.nu/t5lj

Replies (7) Good night (672) Bad night (1393)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

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(867): We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/l33f

Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (480)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.

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(314): So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better. http://tfl.nu/6bjm

Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (503)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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(773): i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive. http://tfl.nu/jzd0

Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (538)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals

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(413): He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals http://tfl.nu/hgzz

Replies (4) Good night (1093) Bad night (511)

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