so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.