Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

...yea

(614): View more from Ohio

She's valid.

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(813): View more from Florida

For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me

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(416): View more from Toronto

sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.

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(917): View more from New York City

I just found a bag of teeth...

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(312): View more from Illinois

Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.

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(561): View more from Florida

This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem

(1-561): View more from Florida

Gotta pay my student loans some way

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