Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text

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  (810): I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text http://tfl.nu/8slp
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (1810)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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  (585): He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings. http://tfl.nu/entr
  Replies (15) Good night (975) Bad night (2988)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (8028) Bad night (912)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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  (631): i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth http://tfl.nu/bjm9
  Replies (16) Good night (1052) Bad night (4330)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents

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  (802): Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents http://tfl.nu/oucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1967) Bad night (805)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now

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  (508): Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now http://tfl.nu/n0um
  Replies (7) Good night (2687) Bad night (629)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.

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  (785): I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me. http://tfl.nu/wjzj
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (502)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

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  (503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu
  Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (606)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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  (847): Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos. http://tfl.nu/unc3
  Replies (16) Good night (1938) Bad night (622)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.

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  (515): I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle. http://tfl.nu/dlxr
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (575)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.

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  (219): The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/mbl4
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (915)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'

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  (310): I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly' http://tfl.nu/92zu
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (409)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.

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  (208): I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook. http://tfl.nu/vmgg
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (577)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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  (724): At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped. http://tfl.nu/hng6
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (450)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I felt like I was at the zoo

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  (519): How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things (1-519): I felt like I was at the zoo http://tfl.nu/xxq9
  Replies (0) Good night (813) Bad night (271)

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