Say something about gay babies.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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