Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Cause it just destroys penises

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore

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  (586): Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex? (586): Cause it just destroys penises (586): Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore http://tfl.nu/7ohb
  Replies (11) Good night (985) Bad night (1024)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1223) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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  (407): I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through. http://tfl.nu/kavy
  Replies (25) Good night (5799) Bad night (562)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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  (412): I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/pqtq
  Replies (34) Good night (3281) Bad night (4293)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

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  (440): It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night http://tfl.nu/ffc5
  Replies (17) Good night (1062) Bad night (2373)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.

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  (317): Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road. http://tfl.nu/vlcv
  Replies (18) Good night (3288) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

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  (719): If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila. http://tfl.nu/6g2r
  Replies (25) Good night (2083) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.

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  (203): No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience. http://tfl.nu/6ty7
  Replies (11) Good night (1546) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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  (505): There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy. http://tfl.nu/c3w4
  Replies (6) Good night (1875) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me

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  (203): I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me http://tfl.nu/c2wo
  Replies (6) Good night (1093) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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  (201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj
  Replies (5) Good night (2561) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I want your cock.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

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  (904): I want your cock. (910): All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd http://tfl.nu/l1ri
  Replies (11) Good night (846) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday

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  (805): My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday http://tfl.nu/39ab
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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  (586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

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  (780): Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night? http://tfl.nu/co1o
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (199)

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