he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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