Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
