just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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