I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
