We're facebook friends in real life
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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