Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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