3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
