There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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