how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
