He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
